A Public Service Message

Originally posted 3 November 1998

Yesterday I heard on the radio a commentary on the very topic I had planned for this week's hoops e-mail. I rarely reproduce material from others in this space, but knowing I would be unable to match the eloquence of the message I heard, I contacted the author and requested a copy. I offer it to you below. If you don't care to read on, let me summarize it for you in my own clumsy way: If you don't vote, you're a moron.

Please let me know if you will or will not be taking a break from reading post-election analysis to join us for hoops at St. John's tomorrow night -- 7:00, as usual. (Last week's attendance: 13.)

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Introduction: Tomorrow is election day in the United States, and millions of Americans will cast ballots for the candidates of their choice. Today, in preparation for the event, curator Dr. America is in the Voting Booth of the magnificent (but wholly imaginary) American Studies Museum, which displays such paraphernalia as campaign posters and bumperstickers, full lunch pails and empty promises, and an assortment of enticements and TV ads.

Opinion polls suggest that a majority of registered voters will vote with their feet tomorrow, and walk away from their civic duty, as though their campaign slogan were "I ain't voting." In recent weeks, Dr. America and the crack research team of the American Studies Museum have interviewed thousands of these likely non-voters, and assembled what we might call "the litany of the ain'ts."

People who don't vote are basically saying that they trust the people they don't trust in any other capacity to make an acceptable decision for them. They wouldn't let other people buy a car or a house for them, but it seems they'll let anybody else choose a government for them. They wouldn't trust strangers to buy their clothes, or to make choices for them on the restaurant menu, but they happily let strangers make strange choices on election day. The nonvoter is, in effect, casting a ballot for the candidates who have enough money and deceptive ads to convince other people of questionable intelligence of the candidates' "unique" qualifications. The nonvoter seems to say, "My neighbors are smarter than I am, so let them offer an opinion. I trust the fanatics who actually go to the polls to represent me. I don't count for anything, so don't count my vote."

A lot of the people who don't vote say that they don't know enough to make a good decision. So they're basically blaming their stupid choice -- not voting -- on their own stupidity. Even though the newspapers are full of information about the candidates and their positions, the nonvoter's position seems to be that ignorance is an incurable disease. People who fanatically consult Consumer Reports before they buy a dishwasher or an electric toothbrush refuse to learn about the candidates who will consume their tax dollars. Ignorance is a problem, but it's not as much a problem as the people who actively ignore the electoral process.

Nonvoters often say that the candidates are all the same, which is demonstrably false. The candidates say the reverse, and, practically speaking, it's true -- the nonvoters are all the same.

Often, people who don't vote say that one vote doesn't matter. But votes only come in ones, and all of them are counted. The person who thinks that the matter of voting doesn't matter says, in effect, that democracy is just a word, and not a way of life. Such nonvoters seem to spell "sitizen" with an "s," as they sit on the sidelines of politics as a spectator sport.

The people who don't vote, the crack research team at the ASM discovered, say in effect that they don't mind other people running their lives. Their not voting is, in itself, a ballot, saying they are willing to be governed by any other people. Believing that any fool can become President or governor or representative, these fools take the steps necessary to make sure that is indeed what happens. I don't care who wins, the nonvoter says, because I have no values or moral convictions of my own worth expressing.

The person who doesn't vote says, in effect, that taxes are no concern for me. I'll pay for this government with my taxes, but I don't really care how the money gets spent. If the Pentagon says we need $270 billion dollars for defense -- more than the next ten nations combined -- I believe them. If my representatives support a billionaire who says he needs a stadium for his ball team, I'd be happy to help out. Don't count my opinion, but feel free to count my dollars.

Many of the people who don't vote will cast other ballots on election day through their purchasing. They won't vote for Congress, but they will vote for Tommy Hilfiger and Calvin Klein. They won't cast a ballot for good government, but they'll vote for Betty Crocker and Orville Redenbacher. They don't care about representative government, but they do care about unrepresentative consumerism.

The people who don't vote apparently don't care about setting a good example for their children. I believe in democracy, they say, but not enough to vote for it. Teaching by their own shining example, they show the younger generation that ignorance and apathy are the way to get by in the world.

From the American Studies Museum, this is Dr. America, voting enthusiastically -- for voting.

Postscript: Dr. America is professor of history and Political Seances at St. Olaf College. At a recent seance in the department, he contacted the spirit of Thomas Jefferson, who said that education should teach Americans "so much as may enable them to read and understand what is going on in the world, and to keep their part of it going on right; for nothing can keep it right but their own vigilant and distrustful superintendence."