Stuffed

The thing about that Target Field is you can't quite believe you're in Minneapolis. Sitting in section 221 Wednesday I couldn't shake the feeling I was on a road trip to another city. Grass down there, sky up there, and birds in-between. Weird.

And straight across, Target Center. Remember that place? Looks like the thing they put over Chernobyl reactor 4. Just the other day I was telling someone the Timberwolves will be asking for a new arena in the next 2-3 years (provided they are still in Minnesota.) "No WAY!" the guy said. Yes way, I said. Having sparkly Target Field right next door clinches it.

Then I read this, from Simmons:

THE LINDSAY LOHAN AWARD FOR "OLDEST-LOOKING THING UNDER 22 YEARS OLD"

This goes to Orlando's Amway Arena (better known as the O-Rena), which opened in 1989 as a "state-of-the-art" place and quickly became the last nobody-had-any-idea-what-they-were-doing-when-they-were-building-these-things sports arena. No club seats, no midlevel boxes, concrete aisles … just call this place the Hot Tub Time Machine Arena. (When I walked in, I thought I was suddenly back in college attending a WWE event at the Worcester Centrum. I kept looking around for Rick Rude and Demolition.) The poor Magic recently had to build another new arena that opens next season; if someone doesn't purchase the O-Rena by next year (asking price: $90 million), the city of Orlando is probably knocking it down. So the Magic got 21 years out of a "state-of-the-art" arena. That's a catastrophe.

Oh, yeah. The Wolves are asking for a new arena. Care to start a pool on what day you see/hear the first rumblings?

By the way, David Kahn and soon-to-be-ex-coach Rambis were in Spain the other day watching Ricky Rubio, the best Spanish point guard in Spain. Word is he's not coming to the Wolves any time soon (my guess: never). So where does that leave the club this year? If they defy the odds and get the number one pick don't they have to take John Wall from Kentucky? The year after they took three point guards in the draft? Of course, the Wolves have never in their history beaten the lottery odds, so I'm not losing any sleep over this.

Only two current Wolves rank among the team's top 25 scorers, including Ryan Gomes with a paltry 2,957 points. That tells you everything you need to know about how many attractive free agents the Wolves have lured to Minnesota (and kept) over 20 years. Kahn knows he has no chance of landing a big-name free agent in the prime of his career (LeBron, Wade, et al.) Nor will he hire too old. So he will work furiously to land a mercenary vet who still has some gas in the tank and hopes to score one final payday, say Tracy McGrady or Dirk Nowitzky. He'll quickly learn he has no chance of landing any of those guys, either.

In the end Kahn will annouce he's signed something like the following:

• Steve Blake, who he will call "a tough-nosed player who can help us at either guard position."
• Zydrunas Ilgauskas, "a proven winner who can help us immediately" (not).
• Jordan Farmar, "a versatile guard who will provide valuable minutes" (in reality a middling player desperate to catch on anywhere now that the jig is up in L.A.).

This embarrassment of riches will be paired with the Wolves #5 pick. How about Wesley Johnson of Syracuse. Woo-hoo. Can you feel it?

By the way, if you do go to Target Field skip the Tony O's Cuban sandwich. It's decent but it will fill you up and you won't be able to get any of the other stuff you want later. There's a lesson for general managers in there somewhere. Still, we miss you, K.G.

---

Please let me know if you will or will not be playing hoops at St. John tomorrow. We tip off at 8:00 a.m., as usual.