Hobson's Choice

Our next questioner is Steve Yaeger, of South St. Paul, Minnesota. Go ahead, sir.

Thank you. My first question is for the candidate in the blue suit. Do you ever go commando?

A question for the man in the gray suit. I've had it with the endless repetition of hokey phrases like "the American people." What will you do to curtail their use by both candidates and elected officials in both parties?

For the candidate in blue: Would you liken your vision for government as more like Orwell's "1984" or Huxley's "Brave New World"?

For the man in gray: What is the last book you read?

For both candidates: Do you think the NBA should allow zone defenses? Why or why not?

For the candidate in blue: If elected, what will you do to force drivers to come to a full stop at the stop sign in front of my house?

For both gentlemen: Seventy percent of Americans polled believe Pat Buchanan and Ralph Nader should have been allowed to participate in the debates. Without hiding behind the Commission on Presidential Debates, tell us: What are you afraid of?

Blue: You treat the concept of "choice" as by turns sacrosanct (for example, abortion) and anathema (for example, school vouchers). Please explain the concept of "choice," as you understand it, in political, constitutional, and philosophical terms. Take your time.

Grey: Do you feel there is a contradiction in opposing abortion and supporting the death penalty? Why or why not? Take your time.

For both candidates: Every year since 1993, the Harris Poll has taken a nationwide survey asking Americans the question, "Who is your favorite movie star?" While the results have varied each year, one thing has remained constant: every year but one John Wayne has come in first or second, which is curious considering he must overcome one obstacle the other stars do not. He's dead. My question is: Why is it that you will sometimes see a "God Bless John Wayne" bumper sticker, but the idea of replacing Wayne's name in that phrase with Clark Gable or Spencer Tracy or Tom Cruise sounds ridiculous?

Candidate in blue, your 1998 tax returns showed that you and your wife donated $353 to charity that year on an income of nearly $200,000. That was about half the contribution of the average American family, which earned far less, and about a tenth of what the Internal Revenue Service figures is a typical contribution for their income level. Please comment.

Candidate in gray, while we're at it, show me your tax returns.

Both candidates: Which of the following is not a country with which we have diplomatic relations: Andorra, Moldova, Lapland, Togo.

For the man in blue: Who do you think is our hottest female celebrity?

Candidate in gray: I do not take any prescription drugs. Under your plan, can I just have the cash?

Both candidates: Will you be at hoops at St. John's tonight at 7:00 p.m.? Please respond via e-mail.

Either candidate: Have you ever, or will you ever in the future, answer a yes-or-no question with either a "yes" or a "no"?

Blue: Why are you such a jerk?

Gray: Why are you such a doofus?

Thank you.