If you don't know how to calibrate the rinse agent dispenser, I'm not telling you

Do not mock me, for I only among men know how best to load the KitchenAid KUDS24SE.

The KUDS24SE is no ordinary dishwasher, with a single spray arm and underpowered heating element. No, the KUDS24SE is a high-end eating utensil sanitation powerhouse, a veritable BMW among dishwashers.

And yet you persist in loading large bowls and awkward-shaped platters in its lower rack, right in front of the water inlet opening, despite the copious warnings against doing so on pp. 11-12 of the manual. Do you not realize how this utterly neutralizes the 4-way HYDROSWEEP® spray arm?

And this glassware! Look at how you've wedged it right up against the Sure-Hold cup shelf tines. Do you not realize that if you simply moved this mixing bowl to the left side, as the manual suggests on p. 12, you could fold the tines down?

And do not even get me started on the subject of the optimal placement of dinner plates relative to salad plates. Is it not obvious, even without consulting the KUDS24SE manual, that dinner plates go in front, salad in the rear?

But enough. If you persist in turning a blind eye to the operating principles of the KUDS24SE then begone! Continue to suffer the indignity of spotted flatware and a clogged overflow protection port and water-filled upside-down Tupperware!

And I repeat: Do not mock me.

Last chance to play hoops at St. John's in January! We tip off tomorrow at 8:00 a.m. The gym will be closed on January 22 and 29. We will resume play on February 5.