Reality bites

The Missus tried to share a titilating item regarding Jon & Kate, about whom I know only one thing.

"The show is scripted, you know. It's not like that just happened."

"Hmph." The Missus turned back to her magazine.

"You think it's not? Here's how it goes: 'Okay, Kate, you're going to spill the pancake batter and Jon, you're going to say she looks fat in those pants. Okay, roll 'em.'"

She took another run at it. "Well, it says he ch--"

"Nothing spontaneous happens on TV. Nothing. If it does, they edit it out and post it on FailBlog next to an ad for Jon & Kate diaper bags."

"Nothing much spontaneous happens around here, either..."

I pretended not to hear. "Look, thirty people sign off on whatever happens on-screen, and another 20 for everything that happens off-screen and gets 'leaked' to People magazine. There's a reason the credits for every reality show list a dozen writers."

As if to underscore my point, this week the Writers Guild of America sent a letter to its members imploring them to object to a recent article in The Hollywood Reporter that dissed writers' contributions to reality TV. "We have to stand up for ourselves," says the Reality, Nonfiction, and Game Show Writers Committee of the Guild, "and let these producers and networks know that WE ARE WRITERS and that there is no such thing as 'unscripted' television."

Even a bad meal has a cook to credit. And, by the way, Merriam-Webster says "diss" is perfectly acceptable. I AM A WRITER.

Please let me know if you will or will not be playing hoops at St. John's tomorrow. We tip off at 8:00 a.m., as usual.