Offensive

From correspondent Bob Root, Austin, Minn.

As I stood in the old McDonald's in Austin earlier this week I found myself at first frustrated and then angry at the utter chaos behind the counter. Nobody taking orders, food sitting on the counter for who knows who (no customers claiming it), the store kind of a mess. I was suddenly comforted, I even laughed out loud, as I remembered the "I'm Lovin' It" post. This was no Duke offense, this was -- oh my god, I've seen this before -- it's the vaunted Clem Haskins Gopher's offense!

Fry machine attendant and shake machine gal carrrying food back and forth to each other from one end of the counter to the other while the two cashiers set picks on the rest of the crew. The cooking staff all standing in one place looking like they're trying to get open but even if they could help the ball handlers aren't seeing them -- or us, for that matter. I started to look around for a shot clock, hoping I'd get possession sometime soon.

Wait, I see one! It's counting down! It's . . . Dang, just the deep-fryer, finishing some fries that might or might not make it to the customer.

Just when I thought maybe this wasn't even the Gopher offense but worse, the old Four Corners -- stall! -- there was a break. A defender (actually some 30-ish "manager") breaks from the back room, steals shakes, burgers, McNuggets, fries and lays them into the tray for delivery! He's everywhere, barking orders, delivering food, apologizing!

As I finally head to the table where Cheryl, her mom and the kids wait, Cheryl greets me with, "What were you laughing at? Nevermind. I probably don't want to know."

Thanks to the St. John's Hoops Blog for providing moments of sanity in an otherwise incompetent world.