My band can beat up your band

Would you ever announce on your blog that you had never heard a Pearl Jam song? Or couldn't name any by Coldplay or Stone Temple Pilots? Or never owned an REM or U2 album? I would, and am, as an intro to this week's bracket discussion. Because if you're gonna talk bracket openly, honestly, then you need to cop to never having seen Austin Peay, or knowing who Western Kentucky's coach is, or where Belmont is.

So, if you ask me:

In the 70s region I'd watch out for Queen. Lotta haters, but very underrated. Hendrix is strong, but one man can't win it alone. It's the safe choice, but look for No. 1 Led Zeppelin and No. 2 Pink Floyd to meet in the regional final.

In the 80s it's hard to fathom how The Police get a No. 8 seed and REM gets a 13. That's just nuts. But this region is all about the power of low seeds. Look for No. 5 Van Halen to cruise to the regional final, meeting No. 7 Tom Petty.

The 90s is a tough region. I'll be the first to admit I don't know a lot of these contenders. These were my prime bachelor years, but I've never heard of many of these contenders. Just going by rep, with Pearl Jam out of the way I look for upset-minded Dave Matthews to land in the final against Red Hot Chili Peppers.

I'm equally ignoration about these 00s region entrants. Foo Fighters sound combative, and already beat something called Seether and the irreverant-sounding Godsmack. (Lot of existential anger in the 00s.) I once found an Incubus CD in the street in front of my house, but they sounded like crap so I'm not rooting for them. I've always thought Linkin Park was a catchy name, so let's look for them to meet the Foo boys (they are boys, right?), in the final.

In the Final Four, look for Led Zeppelin's seniors to wipe the floor with Pearl Jam and Van Halen to win the Foo fight. Led Zeppelin over Eddie V. and company in 2 OT.

(Hat tip: Keekley.)

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Hoops this weekend? Let me know if you will or will not be there. We tip off at 8:00 a.m. Saturday, as usual.

Who got screwed? Not your club

As always, the list of complaintants is long. Wisconsin (29-4) won the Big Ten regular season and the tournament but got handed a No. 3 seed. Well, they should have showed they can do more than claim the last possession when the horn blows on a 42-41 potboiler. Zzzzzz.

In Arizona, the Sun Devils beat the Wildcats twice but are staying home. Creighton's 21-10 record? Until you can make people remember what state you're in, keep dreaming. Florida? Shoulda played better. VCU? Shoulda played a better schedule. I'll miss Nevada and all the excitement Kirk Snyder and Nick Fazekas created the last few years, but them's the breaks.

You could make a case that Gonzaga, which made its name by being willing to play anyone and has already played 10 teams in the tournament field, should have received better than a No. 7 seed, but hey, you still play in something called the West Coast Conference. And anyway you let us down all those years we picked you to go to the Elite Eight.

No, the field is solid. The only folks who got screwed this year are you and me. Here's how:

• We will not get to see both Kansas State's Michael Beasley and USC's O.J. Mayo play past the first round. The Selection Committee thought it would be hoot to match up the two nation's two best freshmen in a first-round game. You know what? Not so much.
• Either Drake or Western Kentucky, two teams with big-time spoiler potential, will go home early after they square off. Really? You couldn't spare us Indiana-Arkansas for a chance to root for two Cindarellas?
• Ditto Gonzaga-Davidson. Shame on you, Committee. Really.
  

Those faux pas aside, it's still the best damn sporting event of the year. And you know what that means: It's time for the Saint John's Hoops Al McGuire Memorial Final Four contest!

You know how it works: Send me the names of the four teams YOU pick to be in the Final Four this year, specifying which team you pick to win it all and which you pick as the runner-up. (Several people miss this crucial detail every year and are disqualified.)

After the champion's been crowned, I will score everyone's picks as follows: 1 point for each team you correctly place in the Final Four, 2 points for naming the runner-up, and 3 points for naming the champion. The winner will receive a prize so fabulous I haven't thought of it yet. The winner's team will also be spotted 4 points in a game to 11 in our first post-tournament game at St. John's. (A non-player winner will receive a prize of approximately equal value, whatever that would be.) In the event of a tie, the winner will be chosen by a random draw. All recipients of this e-mail are eligible to enter.

But there's more! Specify a fifth team, seeded 9 or lower, as your darkhorse pick. If that team makes it into the Final Four, you will win $64 and a six-pack of Summit Pale Ale. (Yes, I've had to write that check.) Doggone it, if there's a better NCAA tournament contest, I've never heard of it!

All entries must be received in my inbox by tip-off of the first game on Thursday, March 20.

After you submit your entry, please let me know if you will or will not be playing hoops at St. John’s this weekend. We tip off at 8:00 a.m., as usual.

Found poetry

Quality Product
by Tony

Great product.
A bit on the expensive side
but you pay for quality!

It says 20 sheets,
but I'm busting 30 pagers
on thicker than average paper
like nothing.

The only thing holding it back
from doing more
is the size of the staple.

Still made in China, though.

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Let me know if you will or will not be playing hoops at St. John's this weekend. We tip off at 8:00 a.m. Saturday, as usual.

The Copyright Infringingest Place On Earth!

Sometimes, despite a surfeit of excellent material, you have to throw up your hands and step aside. Ladies and gentlemen, I present The 9 Most Baffling Theme Parks From Around the World.

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You know why there were 12 disciples? Three teams of four, that's why. Man, that was some good ball last weekend. I don't know how it could have been any better, unless maybe Unruh had been there. But then who would you have sent home? (Okay, Dale.)

Are you feeling it? Are you? The hoops at St. John's always gets better this time of year. If you don't know why, then I'm not gonna tell you where you can meet Pony and me to watch the North Carolina-Duke matchup Saturday night.

But you can still come to St. John's on Saturday. We tip off at 8:00 a.m., as usual. Please let me know if you will or will not be there.