Iron will and (empty) gut

My new favorite web site, displacing the long-admired Chinese People's Daily (which, in a hilarious bit of Engrish-as-a-second-language self-stereotyping, used to offer itself at the URL peopledaily.com), is News From Korean Central News Agency of DPRK.

Yes, this is the official news agency of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North, that is), which exists to pump out "stories" and "news releases" with headlines like:

Korean People's Efforts to Settle Issue of Korea by Themselves Supported

and:

Papers Call for Demonstrating Songun Korea's Dignity and Might

and:

President of Senegal Sends Floral Basket to Statue of Kim Il Sung

In fact, the Korean Central News Agency seems to report a lot of news about fruit baskets and flower arrangements sent to the Dear Leader by admirers both within and outside of the country. As in China, everything in North Korea is officially glorious, honorable, and mighty. Particularly, as you might expect, the Dear Leader:

"Kim Jong Il is the tested leader of the glorious party. The Juche idea of Kim Il Sung and the ideas and theories of Kim Jong Il who has steadily developed it in depth serve as immortal guidelines for our party and revolution. Their iron will and gut, experienced and tested leadership constitute the source of invincibility of our party and revolution."

(As an aside, do you think the people in North Korea, Cuba, et al. get bored of being in a state of "revolution" for 60 years at a stretch? Yo, Dear Leader: No one's fired a shot in half a century. How about spending a little time on the whole famine thing, or giving the people FM radio?)

The best thing, though, about the Central News Agency of DPRK is how it is compelled to change the news after it happens. Unlike more traditional news sources, where what's published tends to stay published, the Central News Agency of DPRK reguarly "updates" the news, i.e., makes it go away.

As an example, after North Korea allegedly detonated a nuclear bomb the Central News Agency was positively busting its buttons over the glorious event. "The nuclear test was conducted with indigenous wisdom and technology 100 percent," it announced. "It marks a historic event as it greatly encouraged and pleased the KPA and people that have wished to have powerful self-reliant defence capability."

After the first reports appeared suggesting the blast was caused not by a nuclear device but by a very large pile of TNT, this and every other reference to the glorious A-bomb was removed from the site. The most important event in the glorious history of the DPRK? Never happened.

Tired of the pre-packaged political pablum dished out by Tony Snow and his superiors? Count your blessings. You've got CNN, the New York Times, Daily Kos, and the rest. There are more blogs originating from Antarctica, with no permanent residents, than from North Korea, a country with 22 million people.

And while you're counting, don't forget hoops at St. John's We tip off this Saturday at 8:00 a.m., as usual. Please let me know if you will or will not be there.