We get letters

Time to check the mailbag! These might be actual e-mails from actual readers.

Dear Steve,

Remember when we had to pay Mom a quarter every time we said "shut up"? I think "WTF" must be worth at least $25.

I always put my sugar on after the milk. Check your facts before going to press.

—Kelly K., Inver Grove Heights, Minn.

Dear Kelly,

I received a similar comment from The Missus. To clarify: By "women in my life," I meant my other life.

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Dear Steve,

The other day, I found myself at a "MickeyDonalds" as my oldest calls them. Rather than order my standard fare, usually a burst-poop inducing Big 'n' Tasty meal, I opted for one of the new Angus burgers. Specifically the bacon and cheese option. I have to admit: I was impressed (considering the source), and I don't think I'm alone.

It certainly didn't outperform a burger from a quality joint, but as far as consumer-grade fast food goes, it was a damn tasty burger. The pickles were excellent, the bun felt like real bread-stuff, and the burger wasn't a barrel of suck.

—Tom K., St. Louis Park, Minn.

Dear Tom,

Al McGuire said the difference between a "joint" and a "dump" is that a joint got that way over time, while a dump was always that way.

I never order anything at McDonald's that I couldn't order in 1983. McChicken, McNuggets, Filet O'Fish, Big Mac, cheeseburger (single) and french fries make up the entire menu as far as I'm concerned. I tried a McDLT once in the late 1980s, which only solidified my feelings.

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Dear Steve,

I am now able to read your blog from my very own living room in the Middle Kingdom—that, along with the also heretofore banned Wikipedia.

—Audrey S., Shanghai, China

Dear Audrey,

Death to Communism! Long live Capitalism! Free Tibet! May the rights of the Individual forever triumph over the will of the Many! Moa had funny-looking hair!

Now, let's watch.

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Dear Steve,

No mention of Coach again this week? I'll never play until Coach gets mentioned!

—Matt T., Edina, Minn.

Dear Matt,

If the promise of getting you out of your wheelchair and back on the hardwood doesn't lure Coach out of retirement, nothing will.

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Dear Steve,

My wife and I just watched our first Blu-ray disc, "Mamma Mia." As the movie progressed, it became clear that Blu-ray is more than a slight step up from standard DVD—at least it is on our screen. I thought upconverted DVDs had a pretty good picture and sound, but Blu-ray delivers even better color, better detail, better sound—even if Pierce Brosnan is singing.

—Bruce H., Brookln Park, Minn.

Dear Bruce,

Sometimes when the VCR eats a VHS tape, I remove the five little screws that hold the cassette together, snip out the mangled tape, and splice it together with Scotch tape. At most you lose a few seconds of the movie.

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Dear Steve,

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

—Bob R., Stewartville, Minn.

Dear Bob,

On a related note, there is a great need for a Sarcasm font style to go along with Bold and Italic.

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Dear Steve,

I can't remember the exact line from "Apollo 13" but there is a point where they are about to do the re-entry into the earth atmosphere and there is a brief conversation about this being a moment of truth and it is implied either it will be a complete disaster or total greatness. Brad Childress is sitting in the spaceship right now and he is either going to come through this smelling like a rose or incinerating himself.

—Ian C., St. Paul, Minn.

Dear Ian,

I read the Vikings are going to pay Favre $25 million over two years, or roughly $100 per interception.

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Dear Steve,

I have a fever. And the only cure is . . . more mailbag!

—Michael D., Millis, Mass.

Michael,

Take two aspirin and meet me at St. John's in the morning. Let me know if you will or will be there.