Come again?

Under the category of You Can't Make This Stuff Up comes today's headline:

Toys R Us May Sell Toy Business

Wouldn't you have liked to have been in the meeting where the new VP suggested that strategy?

"Uh, Jenkins? I'm not sure you're clear on our vision. We want to be the world's leading retailer of children's play solutions. That means toys, Jenkins."

"I understand perfectly well, McMinn. But what I'm suggesting is the complete creative destruction of our core competence. By freeing ourselves from that which we know and do best, we'll actually expand our opportunities. We'll be able to develop more integrated solutions."

[Executive chorus] "Jenkins is right! We need more integrated solutions to compete!"

"It's all right here in this PowerPoint, Ladwig. By actually closing our toy stores we'll double foot traffic."

"Hmm. I see. Go on."

"Well, the McKinsey team collected significant data about customer buying habits. Let me jump ahead to slide 68. Their data proves that operating a friendly retail environment in which people give us cash in exchange for goods they desire is, well, frankly it's old-economy, Ladwig."

"Yes . . . Yes . . ."

And so on. I've been in that meeting a few times. I was even once interviewed at my desk by a McKinsey brat who wanted to know exactly what it is I do do. (In a true "Office Space" moment, I later saw a McKinsey presentation featuring an illustration in which all work carefully flowed around rather than through my soon-to-be-downsized area, like polite society ladies sidestepping a sidewalk drunk.)

At St. John's our fundamental value proposition has remained unchanged for ten years: Good hoops in a jerk-free environment. Please let me know if you will or will not be participating tonight. We tip off at 6:30, as usual.

Gotta run -- 'nother meeting!