Cara: No One More Sensitive About Age

Really? Can it really be true that no one is more sensitive about his or her age than washed-up one-hit wonder Irene Cara, star of 1980's "Flashdance"? That's what her publicist claims in what has to be the least newsworthy story on the entire Internet today, CNN.com's "How Old Is That Celebrity, Really?" [Article since removed from CNN.com but available at ABC.com. -- Ed.]

Among other things, you will learn in the article that:

• Cara (real surname: Escalera) says she was born in 1964. But voter registration records and several media outlets, including The Associated Press, have her birth year as 1959.


• Aging is "a big no-no" in Los Angeles.


• Supermodel Naomi Campbell thinks that "if you worry about [your age] then you end up with trouble."


• The American public "doesn't really forgive people for getting older."

What's our takeaway here? Your sore knee, aching back, wobbly ankles -- forget about them. Just get your saggy muscles to St. John's by 6:30 p.m. for another night of hoops with the other pre-geriatrics. And when the people at work ask you tomorrow why you're walking so funny, you tell 'em: "Too much sex."

Let me know if you will or will not be there tonight, gramps.