The real pop secret

Okay, people. Listen up. This is how you make popcorn that won't kill you.

1. Get yourself a nice, big cast iron (or aluminum) dutch oven. The bigger the better.
2. Put it on the stove and light a fire under it.
3. Pour some Crisco oil in the kettle.
4. Dump in enough popcorn kernels to cover the bottom. Yeah, you can still get just plain old popcorn, sometimes in jar, sometimes in a bag. Yellow, white, multi-colored -- it doesn't matter. It's on the bottom shelf under all the microwave crap.
5. While the kettle heats up melt a stick of butter in the microwave.
6. When the popcorn starts to pop shimmy the kettle a little bit to work the unpopped kernels to the bottom. Shimmy it a couple more times while it pops.
7. When the popping stops dump the popcorn into your big popcorn bowl. Pour some of the melted butter over the popcorn and toss it with a wooden spoon. Repeat until the butter is gone and salt to taste.

For the life of me, I have never understood the attraction of microwave popcorn. The best of it tastes like packing peanuts impregnated with industrial lubricant while the worst of it tastes like, well, like it must have some kind of cancer-causing agent in it.

When people visit Yaeger Manor and watch me make real popcorn they look at me like I'm Pa Ingalls butchering a hog in the kitchen. Then they taste it. "Wow. What's the secret?" they ask. Now you know.

Incidentally, the folks at Jolly Time say the Twin Cities has the highest per-capita popcorn consumption of any city in the U.S. Thanks for doing your part.

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Please let me know if you will or will not be playing hoops at St. John's this weekend. We tip off at 8:00 a.m. Saturday, as usual.